I POSTPONE DEATH BY LIVING, BY SUFFERING, BY ERROR, BY RISKING, BY GIVING, BY LOSING.

Tuesday 7 July 2009

SUPPOSE . . .

Suppose you meet someone. Suppose you think about him all the time because thinking about him makes you happy. Suppose he says things like, ‘You have a smile only God could make.’ Suppose you try really hard to break with habit and open yourself up emotionally, ignoring the No in your head and concentrating on the Yes in your heart. Suppose, when you’re talking with him, you never want the conversation to end. Suppose the thought of seeing him again gives you goosebumps. Suppose you want to walk with him in a field of purple flowers, hold his hand, smile and just enjoy that moment’s delicate beauty without needing to fill it with words and avowals. Suppose he’s exactly what you’re looking for in a guy – not just looks but, more importantly, his intelligence and spirit. Suppose you really like him.

Now.

Suppose he says he still has feelings for his ex. Suppose he says he wants to ‘play it safe’ (with you). Suppose he says: ‘I don’t want to jump into one thing while feelings linger over another situation.’

What then?

You could shake his head and say: ‘See me.’ You could say: ‘I would never treat you like that. I wouldn’t hurt your little finger.’ You could say: ‘Pick me. Please?’

Instead, you push your own heart aside and you say: ‘If you have feelings for him and think there’s a chance, then contact him. He can say yes, which will make you happy. Or he can say no, which will give you closure.’

Because that’s what Love is about, isn’t it? You want the other person to be happy – even if it’s not with you.

So why do I feel so sad and stupid?

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